When mornings feel impossible: advice & support for parents

Across the country this week, parents are facing the same heart-wrenching challenge – the morning school run that ends in tears, shouting, or refusals to leave the house. For neurodivergent learners in particular, the transition into school can feel overwhelming.

At Gaia Learning, we work with families who know this struggle all too well. Our CEO, drawing on her own experiences as a parent and on the hundreds of families we support, shares three simple strategies to help parents regulate themselves during the hardest moments. We’ve also spoken to school staff to include their perspective on what helps from their side.

Three tips from a parent’s perspective

1. Hold on to your spine of steel
When your child is crying, clinging, or throwing shoes across the hallway, your instinct may be to crumble too. It’s OK to feel upset – but give yourself permission to cry later, when your child is settled. In the moment, focus on your breathing, steady yourself, and draw on that “spine of steel”. A calm parent is the anchor a child needs most.

2. Remember – no one else is judging
It can feel like all eyes are on you when your child is struggling at the school gate. In reality, most people feel empathy, not criticism. Remind yourself: “no one else cares.” Put down imagined judgement – it doesn’t serve you or your child.

3. Pick your battles
You often spot the early signs of a tough morning – the micro-behaviours that show anxiety is bubbling. On these days, focus on the essentials. If your child has managed uniform and shoes but forgotten to brush their teeth, it might be wiser to let it go than risk a full meltdown. One missed brush isn’t the end of the world. A calm arrival is worth more.

What schools want parents to know

A high school staff member shared this advice for families:

• Try to manage your own anxiety – children often mirror what they see. Parents in tears at reception can make things harder. Trust that staff will take care of your child, and do your best to appear calm.

• Reach out early – if your child is refusing to leave the house, contact the school’s pastoral lead. They may be able to arrange a home visit or extra support.

• Reframe the day – sometimes walking in with a friend helps. Instead of “going to school”, your child is “going to see their friend”.

• Consider a softer start – breakfast club or arriving later can be less daunting than going straight into registration.

• Accept the limits – if your child won’t get dressed or won’t come out of their room, it is very difficult. Schools know this too, and ongoing communication is vital, this is where online learning like Gaia in partnership with the school and family can really help.

  
  

Final thought

Every child – and every family – is different. What matters most is compassion: for your child, and for yourself. Hard mornings don’t mean you’re failing. They are a signal that your child is struggling and needs understanding and support.

At Gaia, we hear and see the challenges you’re facing. We’ve been there, and we know that with the right support, things can get easier.

If it helps to talk, book a call with Kate our CEO or Neeki via our website www.gaialearning.co.uk.